Every time without fail there are rows of candles placed around the newly made-over abode. Having transformed a mediocre semi-detached brick house using MDF and a hotch-potch of colour-coordinated accessories, the finishing touch is always a row of candles. Candles on the fireplace, candles along the side of the bath, candles on the bedside table. (This generally has me doing a Ronnie Barker and saying “Four candles”)

Is there no electricity in these homes? Can’t they have crystal chandeliers like the rest of us?